


Cracked Moans

by LeviHackerman



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, I need help, M/M, Yes homo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-29
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2018-02-23 01:54:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2529686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeviHackerman/pseuds/LeviHackerman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wrote some crack...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Levi and Eren were in the showers along with the rest of the cadets, as the night went on it was only the two of them. Levi came up behind Eren   
"Can I help you lather?" He whispered. Eren turned red. Levi trailed a finger up Eren's back, tracing his spine.   
"Please..." Levi whined. Eren was slowly rising. Levi turned Eren around and pinned him to the wall.   
"I want you... All of you..." Levi admitted.   
"I didn't think you thought of me like that." Eren said while looking down at his feet, then noticed Levi's hard shaft. His eyes bolted up to meet the other's.   
"If you want a better look..." Levi started while grabbing Eren's hand and guiding it to his cock. Eren froze with a surprised expression. Levi took his free hand and stated pumping on Eren's shaft.   
"Levi!" Eren screamed, but it turned into a moan.   
"Say my name again." Levi demanded.   
"Levi... Levi... Levi..." Eren moaned out. The water from the shower dripped off his face. Levi kissed him then slowly moved his mouth down to his neck, then his chest, then his stomach, then the start of his cock. He licked his way to the head. He put his mouth around it and teased him with his tongue for a minuet.   
"Please..." Eren said.   
"Please what?" Levi asked suggestively.   
"Please Levi, I..." A moan cut him off from inside him.   
"What do you want me to do... Eren?" Eren was now fully hard.   
"I... I... Want you to... FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY!" He yelled and ran out of the bathroom.

Fin


	2. Chapter 2

It was night time and two very naughty boys were breaking the rules. Levi and Eren were sharing a bed. But Levi (being the naughty topper he is) was the big spoon and had the advantage that he had easy access to Eren's no-no zone.

"Levi, stap it." Eren kept repeating, but it had no effect. He kept teasing him till a moan came out of him. He kept doing it. At about the fifth time of moaning Mikasa said...

"If you are going to penetrate each other's moist buttholes please do it somewhere else." Levi sighed and got out of the bed and started guiding Eren to the showers. There were two people in there but they didn't care. They took off their clothes and got in their own shower together and turned the warm shower on. Fingers traveling all over each other the more daring slipped a finger into the others tight butthole. It turns out the other two people in the other showers were Hanji and Armin. Hanji knocked on Armin's curtain.

"Wanna start a naked fan club?" Hanji asked.

"Yes!" Armin replied as crawling into Hanji's shower.

"We should invite Mikasa!" Armin suggests.

"Ok I will call her with my mating calls!" Hanji says. Then Hanji starts making Titan roar noises and Mikasa comes running.

"Join our naked club!" Armin tells Mikasa.

"Ok!" Mikasa says as stripping. They all fit in the shower and they pulled the curtain back and watched Eren being pounded into the wall by Levi.

"My period started!" Hanji announced while every one in the naked club directed their attention to the blood circling around the drain.

"Mine, too!" Mikasa said as both their vagina blood merged. Their blood gave birth to a phenix which flew over behind Levi and pounded him against Eren who was being pounded against the wall. The rest of the blood was used to baptise Armins's feet.

Fin.


	3. Male Genitalia Ring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3am thing that I did with my friend at gay camp... Enjoy :)

Imagine,

As they have defeated the last Titan, armin, mikasa, Levi, and eren go back to celebrate.

That's when eren locks himself in Levi and his room. Levi is banging on the door while armin goes to get mikasa.

"EREN! EREN OPEN UP!" Levi yells.

Eren slowly lifts the gun to his head,"every.last.one."

He pulls the trigger

[BANG]

"NO EREN!" Levi yells as he bursts through the room. He cradles eren in his arms," no eren, no."

Imagine,

Five months after eren killed himself, Levi still going to therapy 

"Mr Ackerman, it was his choice, there's nothing you can do to change that."

Levi stands up and roughly pounds on the table.

"You don't understand."

"What don't I understand?" She asked.

"I loved him! THATS WHAT YOU DONT UNDERSTAND! I LOVED HIM!"

'Then eren walked into the room and Levi couldn't believe it so he pounded him into the door with his relief while crying and the therapist just took pictures' Levi dreamed

Then he looked up and was like. "Fuck yo ugly ass!" And killed him self and went to heaven and had such crazy sex with eren that they went to hell 

Then Levi woke up again, but this time Leonardo dicaprio was holding an oscar that looked like eren.

"FUCK ANOTHER DREAM?!" Then he looked in front of him.,"inception" he said quietly. He then cut his dick off and proposed to the oscar eren with a ring he made out of it

Oscar eren then rejected the proposal and Leo laughed while calling Levi a nerd and loser and unswaggy

Then that's it when he killed him slef... For real for real and he just ended up in the nothing-ness of death

THE FUCKING END PERIOD

EXCEPT ITS NOT!!

Cuz Levi woke up AGAIN BITCH!!

He woke up the day of erens funeral and spent the rest of his life thinking about eren 

NOW ITS THE FUCKING END BITCH


	4. Whips are for Fuckboys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The song is Tearin' up my Heart by NSNYC  
> I really don't know what else to say... Enjoy¿

I was cutting class, it was boring. I walked into the stairwell till I saw a familiar face. "Hanji!" I say as running over and hugging her. She smiles back and with her fingers she motions me to follow her. I skip beside her only guessing where she'll take me. She gets off and walks over to the elevator and presses the 'down arrow'. We wait there in comfortable silence. The moving room arrives at our floor. We walk on and Hanji presses the basement level. I step up to her and grab her hand. I look up to Hanji and she looks down at me with a smile. We get off and head down a hallway, then make a couple turns. Then we arrive at a set of closed doors. She unlocks the door and opens it. Rose petals fall by the door till my vision focuses on the inside of the room. There's one chair with someone in it. It's Levi! I let go of Hanji's hand and run over to Levi to see he's tied up and has duct tape over his mouth. I rip it off and he says "Run away from her, Eren!" But it's to late. Hanji attaches a collar to my neck and begins ripping off my clothes till it's just me and the leather around my neck. "Get on your knees, fuckboy." She tells me. I look to Levi, he has sorrow in his eyes. I've failed him. I go down on my knees and hang my hand down. Hanji releases Levi and hands him a whip. "Do it." She commands. Levi raises it while he looks away. I have a feeling inside, that I actually want to be whipped. I want to tell Levi to do it, I feel my mouth just about to beg but stop. Hanji wants this to be a punishment so I must make her think I hate this. I hear the whip turn in the air and not short after feel the cool leather collide forcefully with my bare skin. My body can't handle it and let's out a scream of pleasure. "You like this?" Hanji asks confused. I can not hide it, she will find out one way or another. "Y-yes Hanji, I-I crave it." I stutter out. "Then that won't do, will it?" She thinks out loud. She yanks me up by my hair. "Ok then I have better plans..." Hanji says as pulling a needle out of thin air. "Good night!" She says with a smile as I pass out. When I wake up I can barley see, all I know is that I have gloves, shoes, and spandex shorts of gold with clear string (or maybe rope it's so thick) connected to each article. All the sudden I hear a voice. "Ladies, Gentlemen, or maybe if you prefer Roughmen *insert crowd laughter here* tonight here we have for you and your entertainment for one night only, even though they are just dancing tonight, let me introduce THE CORPORAL'S BROOM!" And that's when lights blind me and music starts blasting and pumping through my body. "Its tearing up my heart when I'm with you..." The string makes me move across the stage, the lights are so bright I can't see the audience. On stage with me is Levi. He has a similar get up but in all black. "...And no matter what I do I feel the pain..." We grab hands, the release while walking backwards. I can't control any of my movement. All the sudden we start moving fast. Arms and legs moving synchronized. I don't mind being moved without consent if Levi is with me. And then again the chorus blasts and we come together. Walking around each other with hands grabbing the others and relaxing "...I am down on my knees..." And I drop down in front of Levi. He grabs my head and pretends to thrust. As the music gets slower he helps me up and slowly dances with me. "...and no matter what I do I feel the pain. With or without you..." I hear as our faces get a little to close till the lights go out and applause rips both our eardrums apart. We regain movement of our body as we run off stage. Once were off this person in a morph suit grabs us and escorts us out of back stage. Once we were thrown out Hanji greets us with clapping and a light laugh. "You are free now... Enjoy!" She says as continuing to cackle while walking past us into the back stage area. Me and Levi bolt from back stage to the stair well in the main lobby I guess you could call it. It's night time already at school so why not go to the roof top. We run non stop till we reach the door and run out and stop our selves at the safety railing. "Are you ok, Eren?" He asks out of breath. "Yeah." I reply, also at a loss of air. He reaches into the back of his black spandex shorts and pulls out a whip. "Let me give you a gift." He says. My grin might split my face as I get down on my hands and knees, sticking my rear to him. "Please Corporal!" I beg. "Thanks for being a good boy, Eren." He says before my anus is given ultimate pleasure and my vocal chords almost break with noises of satisfaction.

Fin.


	5. Levi's Night Time Titan Slaying Gel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really should be working on my other fan fics ugh...

Eren skips down the street to his house.   
"Throw dat ass in a circle, throw dat ass in a circle..." He sings. He finally arrives at his house and opens the door.  
"Momma! I'm home!" He announces. Erwin then walks from the kitchen to Eren in the entry.   
"Good afternoon darling!" He says.  
"What are you making, momma?" Eren asks.  
"Oh just some pot brownies... You can have some latter if you clean Mike's shit stains from the living room." He tells Eren.  
"Ok..." Eren huffs out. Eren gets all the cleaning supplies out and begins to clean the runny brown substance off the floor. "Mikasa is coming over for dinner!" Erwin calls over. A while latter Eren is in the kitchen cleaning momma's nipples out with soap.  
"Can you go up and tell your brothers to stop having anal for a minute and come down here before they arrive!" He asks Eren. A hum comes in response before he runs up the stairs. He bursts the door open to see a full on penetration scene and every thing drenched in lube. He looks over to see the keg of lube tipped over and leaking onto the floor. Eren walks over and smacks Jean's butt.   
"Can you let your horse shaft evaporate out of his hole of bottom for one second. Mikasa is coming over!" Eren shouts. He sighs and pulls out of Marco. Eren walks to his room and opens the door. He is greeted to a sex god laying oh his bed. Pearls on every lim, lace covering the sexual parts. A pure god indeed.  
"I don't have time for this right now, Levi..." He sighs out. The beauty just looks at him with eyes of puppies.  
"Just at least shove this up my ass before you leave..." he whispered as holding up a bottle of febreze. How could Eren resist. He went into his bed side table and grabbed his bottle of 'Levi's Night Time Titan Slaying Gel' and emptied out the whole bottle on his hands. Levi turned on his backside, knowing the drill. Eren came from behind and ripped the lace and dove his hand straight into his hole. A scream of pleasure over came out of him. Eren didn't need to do much to stretch out Eren because it's been stretched so many times (especially that time with the broom). Hanji is watching them from inside Eren's closet. She just watches Levi and Eren's little bonding activities happen till it's over.  
"Get back to your cage now." Eren says as pulling his hand out of Levi, leaving the febreze inside of him. He whimper a bit but jumped off the bed into a cage next to Eren's bed. Once Eren leaves the room Hanji comes out of the closet and says to Levi "That was hot..." And then walks out of the room.


	6. Horse Juice

A car. Broken down and bright pink. That's my car. We tried to bedazzle it once, but you can tell that most of them fell off by the incomplete letters on the sides. Today was a special day though. I put my keys in the ignition and start the car. It takes a few tries but old sonny finally starts up. I then get on the road and start driving. After a minute of being on the road I hear something in my trunk. Nothing should be in my trunk. I pull to the side of the road and get out of the car. After I pop the trunk I find no one other then Levi in the trunk.  
"Hey Hanji." Levi says as speeding hits legs.  
"Hey Levi!" I reply. Then it hits me.  
"Why are you in my trunk Levi?" I ask.  
"Because I'm junk!"  
I make a questioning face.   
"The junk... In your... Forget it." He adds on. I offer Levi my hand and he takes it. I lead Levi into the passenger side.  
"Where you going, four eyes?" Levi asks.  
"To see my titan baby!" I answer. He hums in response then turns on the radio to some nice Uptown Funk on. We arrive at the house and get out of the car. I knock on Eren's door.  
"Hey-Lo!!!!" I yell as continuing to knock. Levi pushes me back with his arm.  
"I got this." He then proceeds to kick down the door. When the door falls I don't believe my eyes. Eren's arms are inside a horse's anus.  
"EREN!" I shriek. He looks over to me.  
"Hanji! Levi!" He announces. He pulls his hand out of the horse to show he pulled a bottle of windex out of the horse's ass.  
"Happy Birthday!" He says to Levi as giving him the horse arse juice infected cleaning product.

Fin.


	7. 5 mugs 1 pink shoe (aot edition)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote this at my gay camp this summer (omfg it's been a year with this story) but... I really don't know what to say... Enjoy?

Levi couldn’t sleep that night. He moved the cover off of him and jumped quite literally out of bed. He snuck the rest of the way into the living area then began walking lightly to his destination. It was pulling him, this, this thing calling for him to investigate. He creaked down the stairs and headed for the one basement door that was open. Once he walked in he realized no one was inside the room. It was quiet, just the sounds of crickets and nature… wait. His vision bolted to the glass door open beside him. That’s when he saw Eren, surrounded with little children’s clothes. 

“What are you…” Levi was speechless. Eren dropped the shirt he was attempting to put on, leaving only the pink stretched-out skirt on his hips to cover him. Eren started walking over to Levi. 

“Corporal...” he hummed into Levi's ear. Levi's hands came up to caress Eren's cheeks, looking deeply into his eyes. 

“Please,” he choked out, eyes brimming with tears. Levi made his decision.

“Okay, but follow me,” Levi told him.

“Yes, Corporal!" Eren agreed immediately. Levi went and grabbed one of the shoes then guided Eren up the stairs. They got to the top and Levi, being impatient, slapped Eren's butt with the shoe.

“I don’t care if people hear, take me now, Corporal!” Eren screamed. Wasting no time Levi went over to the cabinet and grabbed five mugs. 

“Bend over on the couch,” Levi commanded. Eren obeyed and immediately leaned over the arm of the couch. Levi came over and set the shoe on the couch, freeing his right hand. Levi gripped the pink fabric and ripped it off. Eren squirmed and moaned with just the contact of the air hitting his bare ass, and the thought of what was to come. Eren quickly shoved one of the mugs in Eren's ass without warning. He cried out with a mix of pleasure and pain, his mouth salivating. Then Levi had an idea. He ran to get the hot chocolate mix, coming back with lightning speed. He ripped it between his teeth and poured the solution into the back of Eren's throat. As Levi shoved another mug in, the chocolate solution bubbled within his mouth. Another mug, another scream. Another mug, another scream. The screaming and moaning became so intense that the liquid began to come out of his nose. The last mug pushed through the muscled ring as Eren's tears turned a warm brown. That’s when Levi picked up the pink shoe. He positioned it in front of Eren's throbbing opening. He slowly pushed it in.

“Corporal!" he screamed as his cock rocket blasted off, making a hole in the roof and completing his journey to space.

Fin.


	8. care for a nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi's helps his son feel better after a nightmare

After a long day of adventuring, it was time for Levi and Eren to reside for the night. Once they got into their house, Levi's eldest son, Jean, was already asleep in his bed.  
"Go get ready for bed, I'll be up to tuck you in in a minute." Levi told his youngest.  
"Okay." Eren told his father. He began walking away, but then stopped.  
"And Daddy..." He said.  
"Yes?" Levi asked.  
"Thank you for today." Eren goes over and gives Levi a kiss on the cheek before running up stairs.

A couple minutes later Levi walked into his sons' rooms.  
"Hey." He whispered to Eren, leaning on the door frame. Eren gave Levi a warm smile in return. Eren first walked over to the sleeping Jean and kissed his forehead, Jean then proceeded to groan in his sleep and turn away from Levi. He giggled a bit, then went over to Eren's bed.  
"It's time to go to bed dear, let’s go!" Levi told him while patting the duvet. Eren immediately crawled into bed and snuggled up to the covers.  
"Good night, my child." Levi spoke.  
"Good night, daddy!" Eren replied. Levi kissed Eren's forehead before turning the lamp beside him off. Eren then dozed off peacefully.

Eren woke up sweating. He shot straight up into a sitting position. He's just awoken from a nightmare. He threw the covers off him and ran to the only place he felt safe, his daddy's arms. He bursted into Levi's room and pounced onto the sleeping form.  
"DAD DAD DAD PLEASE WAKE UP." Eren whispered harshly. Levi tossed and turned a bit before his eyes fluttered open. He then released what was happening.  
"Oh Eren, did you have another nightmare again?" Levi asked sweetly while grabbing his son into his arms.  
Eren confirmed with a hum and started crying into Levi's chest.  
"It's going to be okay love, shhhhhh" he began running his fingers through Eren's hair. Eren started calming down and relaxed into Levi's soothing touches.  
"Here, I have something that might cheer you up..." Levi reached over into a drawer on his night stand and pulled out an object. It was very dark in the room so it was hard to see, but soon as Levi moved it closer, Eren could recognize the familiar object.  
"Is that peppa pig!? The one I had when I was younger?" Eren exclaimed.  
"Yes, yes." It was indeed the stuffed pink pig Eren used to cuddle up to every night.  
"Oh I missed this thing." Eren said as taking it into his hands. Levi smiled. After a while they got into a comforting cuddling position with Levi still stroking his son's hair. Eren was definitely out of the bad mood he was dealing with earlier, in fact his emotions have changed quite a bit. There was something on his mind he just couldn't get off, well, more like something he wanted to get off to. Eren was feeling very courageous and grabbed Levi's hand that was petting the top of his head. Soon as he did, Levi stopped moving his hand.   
"Don't stop." Eren said. And Levi's hand began stroking at his brown mop yet again. Kieren started pulling his father’s hand down to his neck, his back...  
"Eren..." Levi said warningly.  
"Don't. Stop." Eren said again, then made eye contact with his father. "Please."  
So Levi listened, and didn't stop. Eren moved Levi's hand down and it was just about to graze Eren's heat sealing moisture missile of love. Soon as Levi's digits grazed Eren's meat popsicle, he let out a gasp of excitement and pleasure. That's when Levi had an idea.  
"Who's Poppa's little piggy?"  
Eren's eyes lit up.  
"Me! Me! I'm Poppa's little piggy!!!" He squealed. Levi flipped Eren onto his belly and kneeled behind him.  
"Poppa Pig sure has a surprise for you." Levi announced. Eren wiggled his butt in the air with excitement. Levi quickly went back into his drawer again to grab a bottle, that Eren assumed to be lube, then went back behind Eren. Levi slowly started licking Eren's hindquarter's opening.  
"Mmmmm daddy" Eren moaned. His posterior was in so much pleasure.  
"M-m-more poppa" Eren pleaded. That's when Levi got a deadly grin.  
"Whatever you desire for your derrière." Levi told him. He proceeded to coat the stuffed Peppa Pig with what Eren thought was lube.  
"Fist me with Peppa, daddy!!" He caterwauled.  
"Oink for me." Levi commanded. And that's just what Eren did.  
"*oink* fuck me *oink* fuck my tight porky hole with that *oink* big boar." Levi's murderous grin grew.  
"Why use lube, when you can use gluUUEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" Levi screamed as shoving the Peppa pig entirely up Eren's ass covered in glue.

Fin.


End file.
